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Thursday (right day) briefs

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I have been a day off all week. ALL WEEK. And it’s very frustrating, because I’m a day ahead of myself and that means there’s one more day to deal with before the weekend.

Yeah, that’s because it’s not our plague: Israel has beaten back the locusts that came from Egypt. And because Jews are Jews, an Orthodox rabbi has issued a statement that no, locusts are not kosher, and may not be eaten, once again proving my statement that if only the Arabs would leave us alone, we would destroy ourselves from within–by arguing all the time. Meantime, over in the Gaza Strip, Hamas is telling its citizens not to worry, that the locusts are harmless.

“It represents no kind of danger or harms to people and plants, ” Bakheet said, adding that “the situation is under full control and protection of the ministry of agriculture.”

Farmers said that 10 locusts were founded in each dunum (1,000 square meters). Officials of the agriculture ministry said it would be dangerous if huge swarms of locust cover an area of 30 dunums (30,000 square meters).

The skies of southern Israel were blackened by locusts. But apparently, they skipped Gaza completely. Riiiiight.

Hope his cancer treatment turns out as well as Hugh Chavez’s: Chipmunk Cheeks Nasrallah is in Iran, getting cancer treatments–because his country has been ruled or infested by terrorists for so long that their healthcare sucks as bad as Venezuela’s–and while he’s there, he’s getting more marching orders from Iranian clerics. Hey, Nasrallah, may your lifespan match the plague of locusts in Israel!

Palestinians heart Chavez: Not just the PA. Also Bashar Assad and the rest of the neighborhood tyrants. That says it all.

But–but–Dennis Rodman said he doesn’t want war! North Korea’s latest lunatic-in-charge is threatening the U.S. with nuclear war again. Why? Because China and the U.S. are working on sanctions for NorK’s latest violation of UN resolutions–you know, the latest nuclear bomb test that had Iranians taking notes and salivating for their own test.

Sidenote: Every single time now–EVERY SINGLE TIME North Korea comes on my radar screen, I think of this:


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